Kirby, Mario, Pit, Bowser, Snake
by AnomNOus
Summary: Crazy Hand watched a show where they updated rock, paper, scissors with an extra two possible things to do. Crazy Hand automatically thinks he has to add another two things to his version of rock, paper, scissors. However, Crazy Hand's obsession with making another version of the game quickly gets on everyone's nerves


Kirby, Mario, Pit, Bowser, Snake

Master Hand stared at Ganondorf from across the chessboard. He analyzed his pieces and got ready to make his first move. "Meta Knight b1 to c3." Meta Knight flew over the front line pikmin and landed on the spot.

Ganondorf looked at his pieces. "Pikmin e7 to e5." A blue one ran across the board to the spot.

Master Hand quickly said, "Pikmin e2 to e4." A red pikmin stepped in front of the blue one

"Yoshi g8 to f6."

The game continued to progress. For a while they just went back and forth. Ganondorf made a great move and took out Master Hand's Fire Emblem characters (the rooks). He soon paid for it by losing Peach (his queen). Mario (Ganondorf's king) stared uncomfortably at Link (Master Hand's king).

Ganondorf used his remaining bishop, Sonic, to eliminate Falco, Master Hand used Zelda (the queen) to get Sonic next. Ganondorf rubbed his cheek as he said, "Lucario a1 to a4." Lucario ran up the board toward a4.

Master Hand said, "Fox g4 to f5." Fox moved so he would be able to take out a pikmin at h7.

"Lucario to h4."

"Zelda from b2 to f6." Zelda stopped where she would be able to get either Mario or Lucario. "Check."

Ganondorf growled as he said, "Mario to f8." Master Hand smiled as he took Lucario out with Zelda. Ganondorf moved some other pikmin, allowing Fox to take the one he was in front of. A few moves later, and Zelda and Fox had Mario stuck in the corner. Ganondorf moved some of the other pikmin. He was soon stuck with only two pikmin and Mario stuck in the corner. Master Hand had Link, Zelda, Fox, and one other pikmin.

Suddenly, Crazy Hand shot into the room screaming, "BROTHER!"

As h flew into the room, he knocked everyone off the chessboard except Mario. Mario said, "Huh, I really like-a this corner now."

Mater Hand smacked Crazy. "What are you doing? I had nearly defeated Ganondorf."

"I don't know. I think I could have done something with my pikmin."

"There is no way you could have possibly won with the pieces you had and their placement." The others that had participated as chess pieces had all left by then.

"It doesn't matter. I have an actually good game."

"What?"

"Kirby, Mario, Pit,"

Master Hand sighed. "Again, it isn't fun anymore."

"Well, I found something that might make it better, even for a loser like you."

"Will you never call me a loser again if I let you tell me?"

"I found this show called The Bing Bang Theory where they added a few more things to rock, paper, scissors. They call it rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock. Now it has more ways losers like you can lose."

"I said don't call me a loser again, and wouldn't this upset the game's order. If there isn't order, then the world will descend into anarchy and chaos. The insane will ruin the lives of others."

"Don't overreact. I guess we should choose who should be the lizard and Spock."

"I never agreed to play."

"I suggest making Bowser the lizard."

"Well, I'm going to play real life cops and robbers," Ganondorf said as he left.

"I thought we call it heroes and villains," Crazy Hand said.

"Actually, I think he plans on stealing something from us," Master Hand said. He turned toward the door and shouted. "What ever you're about to steal, make sure it isn't mine!"

"Got it!" Ganondorf shouted back.

Crazy Hand was about to continue, but then he froze. "Do you think he might steal something from me?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"Well, you should go tell him."

"Fine." Master Hand did nothing for a few seconds before he said, "There, I did it."

"Huh, did you use your psychic powers,"

"Sure, I'll go with that."

"Good. Now, from what I understand about this Spock person, is that he is an intelligent person that uses a lot of science stuff." Crazy Hand waved, and The Star Fox people, Samus, Olimar, Snake, and Louie suddenly joined the Hands.

Master Hand looked at Crazy, "Louie isn't even a smasher. He's Olimar's friend."

"Oops." Crazy waved again, and Louie disappeared. Crazy cleared his throat (wherever that is) and spoke in his most commanding voice. (It was as commanding as King Dedede is skinny.) "Smashers, I have gathered you today to see who should be Spock in the smash version of rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock."

"Fox," Wolf said quickly.

"Good enough for me," Crazy said.

"Wait, wait, wait," Master Hand said. "Maybe Wolf should say why it should be Fox."

They all turned to Wolf. "Because…Spock and Fox rhyme."

"Good enough for me, lets go."

"Maybe we should see if one of the others would be a better match."

"But to use someone besides the person that rhymes with Spock would ruin the order we created."

"Here we go," Falco whispered to Fox.

"If there isn't order, then the world will descend into anarchy and chaos. The insane will ruin the lives of others." Crazy Hand crashed into the ground and began sobbing. He shouted, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?"

Master Hand watched Crazy Hand for a few seconds before saying, "Spock is very smart."

"Snake," Olimar quickly said.

Snake looked at the little man. "Why me?"

"Don't you have an I.Q. of like, 180," Olimar said.

Snake looked at the others. "If your looking for intelligence, shouldn't you be using the wielder of the triforce_**of wisdom**_."

"Spock is also supposed to be equipped with advance technology," Crazy said.

"Yeah, but I thought he was from the future," Master Hand said.

"What?" Snake said.

"Nothing, uh actually, Mater Hand completely agrees with me." Crazy said.

"No I don't."

"I felt your psychic presence tell me you agree."

"No you didn't."

"You told me in Morse code."

"How could I have…you know what, I agree."

Crazy Hand celebrated. He waved his hand and got rid of the others. He then brought in Kirby, Mario, Pit, and Bowser. Before they were able to say anything, Crazy turned Mario back into his paper form. Mario said, "Ah, wait, what-a are Bowser and-a Snake doing here?"

"Crazy Hand wants to do a new version of the game," Master Hand said. Bowser seemed really upset about being brought into it. Master Hand turned to Crazy. "So how does this work?"

"It's the same for who wins in things with just Kirby, Mario, and Pit. However, Bowser crushes Snake and eats Mario…"

"No," Bowser said. "I've eaten Mario before and it didn't work out well for me."

"Then you can burn him," Master Hand said. Bowser agreed.

"Snake beats Pit and smashes Kirby."

"Wait," Snake said. They turned to him. "Aren't you worried about copyright issues."

"No, not really," Crazy said.

"You need to come up with your own game." Snake said. "And, to be fair, we shouldn't be a part of it."

"I agree," Pit said

"I think that's fair," Master Hand said. "Okay then, I guess we should head into the arena" He used his power to teleport the seven of them into the arena. They were surprised to find the arena was already filled with the other smashers. "How did you all know?"

"You wouldn't think it, but Samus is a bit of a blabbermouth," Red said.

Master Hand shrugged (sort of) and turned to Crazy Hand. "Best three out of five."

"You got i-GO!" They quickly rushed to do a smasher.

Master hand used Bowser, and Crazy Hand used Kirby. Kirby jumped above Bowser, turned into a rock, and fell down onto Bowser. "CRAZY HAND GETS THE FIRST POINT!" said the voice that no one knows who it belongs to but announces everything. "CRAZY HAND LEADS 1 TO 0,"

Master Hand said, "That wasn't fair."

"TOO BAD," said the voice that no one knows who it belon…the announcer.

Master Hand, still frustrated, turned to Crazy. They said, "Kirby, Mario, Pit, Bowser, Snake." Master Hand opened and revealed Mario. Crazy had Kirby. Mario jumped onto Crazy's hand and fell on top of Kirby. "MASTER HAND WINS," the announcer said. "TIE GAME AT 1 AND 1."

Crazy Hand and Master Hand got ready for the next round. Master Hand quickly shouted, "GO!" Master Hand held out Kirby and Crazy held out Snake.

Snake jumped onto Master Hand and started beating of Kirby. "Nice try," Crazy Hand said. "But only I can do that."

The announcer said, "CRAZY HAND LEADS 2 TWO 1!"

Crazy burst out into laughter, "HA HA! HE SAID TUTU AGAIN!"

"I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN! JUST GO TO THE NEXT ROUND!"

"Kirby, Mario, Pit, Bowser, Snake." Master Hand pulled out Pit and Crazy pulled out Bowser.

Pit jumped onto Crazy Hand and began slicing Bowser. "TIE GAME AT 2 TO…"

"HA HA, TUTU."

"2,"

"Ahh, it isn't funny now."

"NEXT ROUND."

The hands got ready for the final round. "Kirby, Mario, Pit, Bowser, Snake." Master Hand pulled out Mario and Crazy held out nothing.

Master Hand sighed as he dumped Mario onto the ground. Mario barely landed onto his feet. "Stop doing this with me."

Master Hand ignored Mario as he faced Crazy Hand. "Kirby, Mario, Pit, Bowser, Snake." Neither one of them opened their hand automatically. Master and Crazy opened slowly. Master Hand had Pit and, Crazy Hand didn't have anyone. Pit jumped off before he could be dumped onto the ground.

"FINISH THIS ALREADY, I'M BORED!"

"NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!" Master Hand said.

Master and Crazy were about to go again, but they stopped when they heard sobbing. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HURTFUL!" The crying continued. It slowly grew quiet until it completely disappeared.

"Oh well," Crazy Hand said.

They got ready for the final round before they began. "Kirby, Mario, Pit, Bowser, Snake." Master Hand held out Pit and Crazy Hand held Mario. Pit dashed over and began shredding Mario.

Crazy Hand stared at his hand as Mario was shredded and he realized that he had finally lost. He looked up at Master Hand. "We should go back to the other way." The others all began to leave the arena.

"We can't. We promised that the next game we have to create our own rules with other smashers."

"But that will disrupt the order we have created. If there isn't order, then the world will descend into anarchy and chaos. The insane will ruin the lives of others."

"There, there brother." Master Hand tapped Crazy. "It will be alright."

"MASTER HAND!" The Hands turned to see Ness, Wolf, Sonic, Olimar, and Link carry in a tied up Ganondorf. Master Hand whispered to himself that Ganondorf lost real life cops and robbers. Ness began saying, "Ganondorf has been stealing all our stuff. He took my yo-yo."

"He took my weapons," Wolf said.

"He took 2,000 rings," Sonic said.

"He took all my pikmin," Olimar said.

Master Hand looked at Link. "What did Ganondorf take from you?"

"Nothing," Link said. "I like tying Ganondorf. Plus I keep all my stuff in this pack." He reached in his pack and started pulling stuff out. "Here's my bow. My Ocarina. My slingshot. Here's my tuba."

"Why do you have a tub…never mind."

"Well I think they are overreacting," Crazy Hand said.

"He also stole your spare glove."

Crazy Hand looked at Master Hand. "You told me you used your psychic powers to tell Ganondorf not to steal from me."

Master Hand shrugged. "I guess he didn't listen."

Crazy Hand then turned slowly to Ganondorf. "You must now be punished. You punishment will be being forced to listen to me serenading you."

"That's cruel and unusual punishment," Ganondorf said. "You're crazy."

Crazy began singing, "Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Possibly."

"We can go," Master Hand said. The others nodded and left with him, leaving Ganondorf to his punishment.

This is my sequel to a story I had created earlier called Kirby, Mario, Pit. Tell me what you thought of this story and if you haven't read the other story, go and do it. Also, my major story called Return is nearly finished. I just need readers to make a decision at the end. Go check that story out as well. I


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